


What feels right

by radhaj



Category: L'Arc~en~Ciel
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Male Bonding, Male Friendship, Male Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-27
Packaged: 2017-12-06 16:41:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/737852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radhaj/pseuds/radhaj
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yukihiro doesn't even think his eating habits are such a big deal</p>
            </blockquote>





	What feels right

Noone knew when it truly started. Well, the initial stage when they _all_ started doing it was pretty much obvious, with very clear causes of why it started since they all just got too worried at that point. But noone really knew when it changed from all three of them collectively making sure Yukihiro ate more to Hyde pretty much taking it up as his own personal responsibility.

However, by now in all the parties everyone knew to save a seat beside Yukihiro for the singer that had suddenly discovered his very mother-hen-ish impulses, and noone even blinked when they saw the tiny man sneakily putting more food onto the skinny drummer's plate whenever Yukki was distracted and wasn't looking. Like today, for example. Unfortunately, this time the small vocalist had actually been caught in the act.

“Come on, Yukki, you know you have to eat more. You're the one with a part that requires the most energy from all of us, and yet you always eat the _least_ ,” Hyde was almost whining at his friend after the drummer decidedly caught his wrist just as the smaller man was about to put another scoop of curry rice sneakily onto his plate, effectively stopping his hand in mid-air right between their plates. Hyde was huffing, really – Yukihiro _liked_ rice, so if he refused even this, Hyde wouldn't know what to do anymore. Meanwhile, the drummer was staring at him unimpressed. Usually, the vocalist was more creative with his excuses whenever he got caught like this. So the petite man sighed and changed tactics.

"Listen, Yukki, just do it for me? Because with how much you eat and how much I eat, I pretty much feel and look like a monster," the singer whispered, and Yukihiro had to bite down his tongue from replying that Hyde's eating habits (and his stomach) already seemed quite monstrous to other people whether there was Yukki nearby for comparison or not. However, instead of saying so, the drummer realized there was a response available for him that would in the end be even... more profitable for him.

"But if I do it _for_ you," he started slowly and thoughtfully, and saw how Hyde immediately put himself a bit on guard at his bandmate's uncharacteristically calculative tone, "That means I'm doing you a _favour_. Which means you'll owe me," he finished, and Hyde's expression twitched a bit. The vocalist was in no hurry to reply, it seemed, as he knew promising something like that was a big thing. Yukihiro could easily ask something that would make him regret this after all. But he had a duty to perform.

"Deal," he nodded, "But then you'll eat seconds too."

This time, Yukihiro snorted out loud. He had probably already been eating _thirds_ as it was, but considering what he just got his friend to promise him, he knew he should probably not complain and make an effort to eat a bit more after all.

-~*~-

Yukihiro knew quite well that he probably had every right to become annoyed by it all. However, he always chose to take his band-mate's efforts with amusement. Truly, it almost felt nice having someone jump around him like that, taking care of him all the time. And he liked Hyde, and counted him as one of his closest friends (obviously), so it was not like he found the singer's company unwelcome. Which was a good thing, considering how often he found himself in it lately when Hyde's attempts widened in range, and were no longer confined to just sneaking food onto his plate during the events which they had to attend together anyway. No, by now Hyde was at a point where he actively would create opportunities like that outside the usual ones, and even outside their work hours.

“Reserved a table for us?” He choked out, almost, running up to catch up with Hyde as his step had faltered once the singer had revealed where exactly he was leading them to this fine Wednesday evening. The vocalist himself had kept walking in a rather fast pace as if nothing had happened.

“Yes?” He answered, shrugging, “It's a good restaurant, and they rarely have free tables, even for random celebrities that decide to show up out of the blue. But I love the food, and thought that maybe in a place like this even _you_ wouldn't need too much urging to eat more. It's _that_ good.”

“No, but Hyde-kun, really,” the drummer protested, and even grabbed the singer by the shoulder, making them stop for a bit, “This sounds a bit too much like a date, don't you think?” he chuckled, ignoring the weird twinge of his heart at his own words. It would not be like him if he didn't give at least _some_ attempt to get out of being fed, after all, and so he continued in an only half-joking tone “Are you sure you don't want to go with Megumi-san instead?”

Hyde's face suddenly fell at that and the drummer winced, knowing instantly that his light-hearted joke apparently hit the singer in some very wrong way. The tiny man rarely talked about his family life, especially lately, and Yukki berated himself inwardly for not keeping his mouth shut about things he knew far too little about. In the meantime, the small vocalist turned and continued walking, now in a much slower pace than before, leaving Yukki no choice but to follow a tad sedatedly.

"Can you imagine what kind of scandal it would cause if Megumi and I, the sweet couple that the whole nation thinks it saw getting together and now feels they have personal emotional investment in, suddenly filed for divorce?" Hyde spoke up again a few seconds later, resolutely looking ahead of himself and not at his companion. Yukihiro frowned a little. Were things actually _that_ bad by now? No, if they were truly bad, then Hyde and Megumi would no longer think about public opinion and just go for it. What Hyde was talking about was a loss of interest, most likely. Dwindling feelings. Apparently, Hyde never talked about his wife because they had separated in all ways but the official ones already. Well, at least it didn't seem like their feelings towards each other turned into hate, which was better for everyone involved.

Realizing Hyde was still waiting for an answer, the skinny man nodded dejectedly. The singer looked at him then, and answered with his own nod of approval.

"And so we won't do it. At least not until one of us actually find someone else they want to marry," he finished, and his walking pace picked up a little again after that explanation, "Now come on, or we'll be late. The time slot I reserved starts in six minutes," he urged them, and Yukihiro found himself chuckling though he did speed up himself as well.

"Do you really think the restaurant staff will refuse to let someone like _you_ in just because you were a few minutes late?" he asked, incredulous, and Hyde laughed in respone. The drummer felt glad that the serene mood he had accidentally created with his previous joke was gone so easily.

"Oh they would, if they wanted to save their food reserves from the assault of my bottomless stomach. Now hurry up, Yukki!"

And so Yukihiro did, all the while thinking that Hyde never denied how much this actually felt like a date. In fact, his explanation had somehow even deepened the feeling.

-~*~-

It was not like Yukihiro was pathetic and couldn't take care of himself. No, he could, but it just so happened that ever since his joining L'Arc~en~Ciel, everyone seemed to take it up on themselves to take care of the new member. In fact, honestly speaking, Hyde was late to the party.

Tetsu-kun was first, predictably. Yukihiro could still remember when he had been approached by the young man to maybe, if possible, help his band out all those years ago. The leader had known then already what a big thing he was asking for after all – agreeing to help out a band that was in such a disgrace at the time could have as well meant an end to Yukihiro's own (quite shaky, already) career if it hadn't worked out. So when it did, and Yukihiro became an official member, and all of those awful, disgusting “fan” letters came, the leader took it upon himself to shelter their new drummer from them. He felt it was his responsibility for getting Yukihiro into this in the first place, probably. And he continued doing it, even until now. Of course, the letters had pretty much stopped by this time as only truly crazy individuals could have kept harboring hopes for Sakura's return for _this_ many years. But whenever someone still mentioned how much later Yukihiro had joined, or implied that he was somehow, in some twisted way, less of an integral part of the band than any of the other three, it was Tetsu-kun first and foremost that would shoot down every word, anger blazing in his eyes, before Yukihiro could even think of opening his own mouth.

Ken-chan's part was a bit lighter. With Tetsu busy dealing with band problems or the anti-Yukihiro sentiments from the general public, and Hyde, at the time, still being out of it as he grieved the “loss” of Sakura the most of them all, it was up to Ken to make Yukihiro himself actually feel like a part of the band. Being a shy and insecure individual, having faced so many failures in bands beforehand, it was no surprise Yukihiro hadn't truly expected to be understood and welcomed with open arms into this one either. And yet Ken did all that. He got through Yukki's quietness – something that put so many people off – he got through his reservedness, and he pulled the drummer into the band-life and into their friendship faster than the drummer could even realize what was happening. Even now, when Yukihiro got too closed up and too concentrated on his work to the point where noone else would know how to start talking with him again, it would be Ken simply grabbing him by the shoulder and pulling him back into whatever that was going on. The guitarist had long since figured out the direct approach was the best, after all.

Yes, Hyde's part came up last. In a way, it was maybe even years _late_. Yet, thinking like that, it at least answered the question of why exactly it was Hyde that took up this duty for himself – everyone else had theirs already. And maybe it also answered the question why the singer took it so seriously, and why he put so much effort into fulfilling it. First in the after-parties, then during their rehearsals and their tours, then whenever they met outside of work and now...

“Hyde-kun!” Yukihiro exclaimed with a not too small amount of surprise in his voice after a doorbell interrupted his musings and he opened the door of his apartment to find the main object of his thoughts waiting behind them, “If you came for the new song, I still haven't finished it, sorry, I know I said I'd give it to you earlier so you can start on the lyrics but...”

“I did not come for the song,” the smaller man interrupted him fluently, and raised up the bag he had in his hand which Yukihiro hadn't noticed until then, “I went grocery shopping. And now I intend to do some cooking. I'm sure you haven't been eating well these last two weeks. Again. You never do when left alone for a while,” he explained, and without even waiting for an invitation, stepped into the flat casually, taking off his shoes and shooting straight for the drummer's tiny kitchen.

“When was the last time you even used this pot?” he was soon asking, after raiding the cupboards for the tools he would need, and having to blow a layer of dust off of the said pot's surface, “It's a good thing I thought of buying some sharp knives myself before coming here – what have you been using _these_ for, chopping wood? Cutting wires? Hammering nails? Opening canned foods? This one here is a fillet knife, you need to treat it _delicately_ , it's completely ruined now... I guess I have to clean this whole place up first...”

And that was how Yukihiro found himself frozen in his spot, staring while his bandmate commandeered his kitchen and put it in the order that he liked it most himself before finally starting to make food (but not before laughing at the fridge that was filled, completely, with Coca-Cola bottles and cans).

If Yukihiro had been a petty person and wanted to rank his friends' duties to him in the order of importance and necessity, he knew Hyde's would have ended up being at the bottom. If not for Tetsu, he probably wouldn't have been able to stay in L'Arc~en~Ciel, he wouldn't have been able to deal with all the hate. If not for Ken, he would have stayed, but he would have felt miserable, not unlike in any of his earlier bands. If not for Hyde... well, he probably would have fainted a couple more times during lives. And he would still be laughing in interviews about his immeasurable fat percentage which had gone up a bit lately thanks to the singer. But it hadn't truly changed the quality of his life or anything.

No, it was not all _that_ important, not in the drummer's mind, anyway. And yet, why did this make his heart feel the warmest? Having someone take such an intimate, personal interest in his life and now, even barging in without asking and rearranging parts of it... It should be annoying, right? Bothersome. He should have gotten angry, and screamed that he was not a child and so what if he used a fillet-knife to make it easier for him to open his coke cans whenever he cut his nails too short. It _worked_ , didn't it?

And yet Yukihiro didn't mind it at all. He felt relieved even. The scent of delicious food soon flooding from the kitchen somehow made his whole flat feel more lived in than it had ever felt before. And the sight of the tiny man busy behind his stove somehow felt so natural and right. Hyde would turn and flash him a smile every once in a while as he worked, not looking bothered at all how the skinny man had been standing staring at him the whole time, yet to say a word, and Yukihiro finally felt himself relaxing.

If there was anything he had learned in his life, it was that if anything _felt_ right, then it probably _was_ right. It didn't matter what anyone thought. It didn't matter if some people still felt he had no right replacing Sakura. It didn't matter if people thought that the awkward, quiet drummer would never fit in with his rowdy, loud and dorky bandmates. He had, with some help, proven all of those people wrong anyway. And though he was sure that there would be plenty of people thinking that what he felt was right at this moment to be very wrong as well, he didn't let it deter him.

“Just five more minutes and it's done,” Hyde flashed another smile at him when he noticed the drummer had come around the bar table to join him in the kitchen and stand closer to him instead of just staring from afar. The tiny singer sounded relieved that his friend seemed to have recovered from his shock finally, and turned fully towards the drummer then, while waiting for those five more minutes to pass, looking up at the slightly taller man cheekily, “You can't blame me for taking so long, it's your own fault for letting this place become so much of a mess that I had to tidy it up before I cou... umpf...”

With Hyde looking up at him like that, it put the petite man in the perfect position for Yukihiro to do exactly what he felt was right at the moment, and so the skinny drummer bent down and kissed his bandmate without even waiting for him to finish talking. It was a soft kiss, filled with surprise from both of their sides, and Yukihiro had to lead it completely as Hyde was suddenly too frozen to even properly react. But it felt wonderful despite it and at least the singer didn't _flinch_ back, and that was enough to make Yukihiro feel even more confident about it than before. Confident enough to not regret it even when the long and innocent kiss ended, and awkward silence descended between them for a while.

"So about that one favour you owe me," Yukihiro started, trying not to notice how his voice cracked while speaking - it was incredibly unnerving to talk with those naturally huge, brown eyes widened even more than usual and staring at you so intensely. And it was made even harder by _what_ exactly he was planning to say in the first place, "How about for tonight, you agree to forget that you are married at all?" he finished then, still stuttering slightly, but relieved that at least he was done. For half a minute more, Hyde continued staring, but then his features mellowed out into a gentle smile and though a bright blush suddenly flooded to color those beautiful cheeks, Yukihiro soon felt a hand cupping his cheek, making him startle as he had almost expected a slap instead. However, what Hyde gave him right then was not an offended slap but another brush of their lips together, and a look so loving it almost melted the drummer's heart.

"I'll forget about it completely. Not only just for tonight, if you want me to,” the singer whispered softly, “But you'll still have to eat your dinner first.”


End file.
